The Wobbit

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The Wobbit

The Wobbit Pdf/ePub eBook Author: ,
Editor: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1476763925
FileSize: 1201kb
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The Wobbit by , Summary

From the authors of the New York Times bestselling parody The Hunger Pains, this fresh take on J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit is a hilarious send-up of Middle-earth, publishing just in time for the major motion picture release of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. The sequel to the parody of the sequel to the prequel to The Lord of the Rings When Aaron Sorkinshield and his band of Little People embark on a totally feasible quest to reclaim the hoard of Academy Awards stolen from them by the lonely Puff the Magic Dragon, senile wizard Dumbledalf suggests an unlikely and completely unqualified accomplice: Billy Bagboy, an unassuming wobbit dwelling in terrorist-riddled Wobbottabad. Along the way, the company faces Internet trolls, moblins, one really big spider that must be at least an inch and a half wide, and worse. But as they journey from the wonders of Livinwell to the terrors of Jerkwood and beyond, Billy will find that there is more to him than anyone—Tolkien included—ever dreamed. Propelled to his destiny by a series of courageous adventures and indented paragraphs, Billy will set out on the greatest YOLO of all time . . . one that leads deep into the dark caverns hiding a mysterious man named Goldstein, who’s just trying to have a nice seder.

The Hunger Pains

The Hunger Pains Pdf/ePub eBook Author: The Harvard Lampoon
Editor: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 145166821X
FileSize: 1000kb
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The Hunger Pains by The Harvard Lampoon Summary

The hilarious instant New York Times bestseller, The Hunger Pains is a loving parody of the dystopian YA novel and film, The Hunger Games. Winning means wealth, fame, and a life of therapy losing means death, but also fame! This is The Hunger Pains. When Kantkiss Neverclean replaces her sister as a contestant on the Hunger Games—the second-highest-rated reality TV show in Peaceland, behind Extreme Home Makeover—she has no idea what to expect. Having lived her entire life in the telemarketing district’s worst neighborhood, the Crack, Kantkiss feels unprepared to fight to the death while simultaneously winking and looking adorable for the cameras. But when her survival rests on choosing between the dreamy hunk from home, Carol Handsomestein, or the doughy klutz, Pita Malarkey, Kantkiss discovers that the toughest conflicts may not be found on the battlefield but in her own heart . . . which is unfortunately on a battlefield.

The Portal & the Panther

The Portal & the Panther Pdf/ePub eBook Author: R. A. Marshall
Editor: RA Marshall
ISBN:
FileSize: 534kb
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The Portal & the Panther by R. A. Marshall Summary

** Get Book 2 Free when you sign up for the author newsletter here: http://bit.ly/girl-free ** The only thing seventeen year-old Jon Parker wants is to escape his sleepy Arkansas hometown. But everything changes when Jon stumbles into the boys’ bathroom and transforms into a black panther. Without choice, Jon is thrust into a world where parallel universes are real, shapeshifters exist, and dangerous “intruders” control the elements with a mere thought. Like it or not, Jon's new mission is to protect our world from intruders from other worlds. But is it a mission Jon will accept? Haunted by his past and facing an uncertain future, Jon struggles to know who he can trust. Ultimately, his decision will impact the people he loves -- and our whole world.

Stupid Ancient History

Stupid Ancient History Pdf/ePub eBook Author: Leland Gregory
Editor: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 144942158X
FileSize: 1855kb
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Stupid Ancient History by Leland Gregory Summary

New York Times best-selling author Leland Gregory is one of Andrews McMeel Publishing’s most successful noncartoon humorists. Silly, shocking, weird, hilariously funny—and outrageously true—the short anecdotes inside his anthologies of human stupidity are culled from print, online, and broadcast media from all over the world. Inside Stupid Ancient History, Gregory chronicles Greek philosophers, Roman conquerors, and historic mythconceptions, including: — To fight off Roman ships in 300 BC, Carthaginians catapulted live snakes at them.— The Athenian lawmaker Draco died of suffocation when gifts of cloaks were showered upon him by grateful citizens at an Aegina theater in 620 BC. — In ancient Rome, long before the advent of the Christian Bible, Roman men swore to “tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth” by placing their right hand on their testicles. It is from this ritual that we derived the term “testimony.” — Of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, The Temple of Artemis in Ephesus burned to the ground in 356 BC. The arsonist was executed; and to make sure his wish for everlasting fame wouldn’t come true, it was ordered that his name be stricken from all records and never mentioned again. But people will talk. Despite all efforts, his name leaked, and Herostratus is remembered as one of the most notorious firebugs in history.

When the Stars Begin to Fall

When the Stars Begin to Fall Pdf/ePub eBook Author: James Lincoln Collier
Editor: Blackstone Publishing
ISBN: 1620646633
FileSize: 859kb
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When the Stars Begin to Fall by James Lincoln Collier Summary

Everyone in Timber Falls knows that his family is trash, and sometimes Harry White thinks he’ll always be trash. But he can’t help getting angry. After all, what had he and his sister, Helen, ever done to anybody? When he discovers the local carpet factory is polluting the river, he comes up with a bold exposé that, if he is successful, will make people sit up and show him respect. He wants to do it alone even though he knows he’s asking for trouble. As trash, Harry’s got nothing to lose. Or does he? Gripping, disturbing, and exhilarating, When the Stars Begin to Fall reveals the hidden forces that conspire against well-meaning innocents. Harry’s desire to change himself and society is so powerful, his voice so direct and real, that listeners won’t forget his struggle for dignity. In this striking departure from the historical novels he is so well known for, James Lincoln Collier has written a powerful—even shocking—novel that challenges and defies the rhetoric of contemporary America.

Twinkle, Twinkle, Social Media Star

Twinkle, Twinkle, Social Media Star Pdf/ePub eBook Author: Kate Kennedy
Editor: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1612438784
FileSize: 396kb
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Twinkle, Twinkle, Social Media Star by Kate Kennedy Summary

Follow Baby Bear in this modern fairy tale as she learns the life-changing magic of social media selfies, shares, post, tweets and more. Becoming a super star social media influencer isn't easy, but with helpful advice from classic nursery tale characters, Baby Bear is sure to make it big. This delightfully illustrated, rhyming parody for adults offers a humorous take on the world of social media.

I Don't Care if We Never Get Back

I Don't Care if We Never Get Back Pdf/ePub eBook Author: Ben Blatt,Eric Brewster
Editor: Open Road + Grove/Atlantic
ISBN: 0802192165
FileSize: 585kb
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I Don't Care if We Never Get Back by Ben Blatt,Eric Brewster Summary

Two friends take a wild month-long road trip to hit every Major League Baseball stadium in America: “A fun ride” (The Boston Globe). Ben, a sports analytics wizard, loves baseball. Eric, his best friend, hates it. But when Ben writes an algorithm for the optimal baseball road trip, an impossible dream of every pitch of thirty games in thirty stadiums in thirty days, who will he call on to take shifts behind the wheel, especially when those shifts will include nineteen hours straight from Phoenix to Kansas City? Eric, of course. On June 1, 2013, they set out to see America through the bleachers and concession stands of America’s favorite pastime. Along the way, human error and Mother Nature throw their mathematically optimized schedule a few curveballs. A mix-up in Denver turns a planned day off in Las Vegas into a twenty-hour drive. And a summer storm of biblical proportions threatens to make the whole thing logistically impossible, and that’s if they don’t kill each other first. I Don’t Care If We Never Get Back is a book about the love of the game, the limits of fandom, and the limitlessness of friendship. “Moneyball-worthy mathematical algorithms and the sharp, hilarious prose that has made Lampoon alums famous for generations . . . Nate Silver numbers and James Thurber wit turn what should be a harebrained adventure into a pretty damn endearing one.” —Kirkus Reviews “Evokes the spirit of sports stunt journalist George Plimpton and the dazed road-trip fever of Hunter S. Thompson, minus the mind altering substances . . . . It’s great watching Blatt and Brewster race home.” —The Boston Globe “A cross between The Cannonball Run and The Great Race, with portions of It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World thrown in for good measure . . . The dynamic and back-and-forth tension and sarcasm between Blatt and Brewster is funny . . . Worth reading.” —Tampa Tribune

The Best of the Harvard Lampoon

The Best of the Harvard Lampoon Pdf/ePub eBook Author: Harvard Lampoon
Editor: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1501109898
FileSize: 927kb
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The Best of the Harvard Lampoon by Harvard Lampoon Summary

A collection of the best of The Harvard Lampoon—the spawning ground for Hollywood’s elite comedy writers and New Yorker humorists—revealing the hidden gems from their 140-year history. Since its inception in 1876, The Harvard Lampoon has become a farm system for Hollywood’s best and most revered comedy writers. Lampoon alumni can be found behind the scenes of sitcoms and late-night shows, including Saturday Night Live, The Simpsons, The Office, 30 Rock, The Mindy Project, and many others. The Best of the Harvard Lampoon is the first anthology of The Lampoon’s extensive archives, featuring luminaries who have gone on to shape the comedy and literary landscape along with some of the best cartoons, illustrations, and satirical advertisements from over the years. Contributors include B.J. Novak, Henry Beard, Andy Borowitz, George Plimpton, Conan O’Brien, John Updike, Patricia Marx, and many others, with an introduction by New York Times bestselling author Simon Rich.

Ella Minnow Pea

Ella Minnow Pea Pdf/ePub eBook Author: Mark Dunn
Editor: MP Publishing
ISBN: 1596929995
FileSize: 1498kb
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Ella Minnow Pea by Mark Dunn Summary

An epistolary novel set on a fictional island off the South Carolina coastline, 'Ella Minnow Pea' brings readers to the hometown of Nevin Nollop, inventor of the pangram 'The Quick Brown Fox Jumps Over the Lazy Dog'. Deified for his achievement in life, Nevin has been honored in death with a monument featuring his famous phrase. One day, however, the letter 'Z' falls from the monument, and some of the islanders interpret the missing tile as a message from beyond the grave. The letter 'Z' is banned from use. On an island where the residents pride them-selves on their love of language, this is seen as a tragedy. They are still reeling from the shock when another tile falls. And then another... In his charming debut, first published in 2001, Mark Dunn took readers on a journey through the eyes of Ella Minnow Pea, a young woman forced to create another clever turn of phrase in order to save the islanders’ beloved language.

Theories of Flight

Theories of Flight Pdf/ePub eBook Author: Simon Morden
Editor: Orbit
ISBN: 0316175412
FileSize: 686kb
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Theories of Flight by Simon Morden Summary

Winner of the 2012 Philip K. Dick Award Theorem: Petrovitch has a lot of secrets. Proof: Secrets like how to make anti-gravity for one. For another, he's keeping a sentient computer program on a secret server farm - the same program that nearly destroyed the Metrozone a few months back. Theorem: The city is broken. Proof: The people of the OutZone want what citizens of the Metrozone have. And then burn it to the ground. Now, with the heart of the city destroyed by the New Machine Jihad, the Outies finally see their chance. Theorem: These events are not unconnected. Proof: Someone is trying to kill Petrovitch and they're willing to sink the whole city to do it.

Bored of the Rings

Bored of the Rings Pdf/ePub eBook Author: The Harvard Lampoon
Editor: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1451672675
FileSize: 895kb
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Bored of the Rings by The Harvard Lampoon Summary

From the legendary comedic scholars who illuminated the tour de force Twilight so brilliantly in the New York Times bestselling Nightlight comes The Hunger Pains, a hilarious send-up of the immensely popular dystopian young adult novel, The Hunger Games. The classic parody of The Lord of the Rings is back! With a brand-new “boreword” by Henry Beard. The Power almighty rests in this Lone Ring. The Power, alrighty, for doing your Own Thing. If broken or busted, it cannot be remade If found, send to Sorhed (the postage is prepaid). It’s up to Boggie Frito Bugger and his band of misfits—including inept wizard Goodgulf Grayteeth, halfwit Spam Gangree, twins Moxie and Pepsi, and Arrowroot of Arrowshirt—to carry the Great Ring to Fordor and cast it into the Zazu Pits. Can they avoid death by hickey tree and escape the dread ballhog? Can the fellowship overcome the narcs and Nozdruls hounding their every move and save Lower Middle Earth once and for all? Yes, of course—this isn’t Hamlet, you know.

There's a Wocket in my Pocket

There's a Wocket in my Pocket Pdf/ePub eBook Author: Dr. Seuss
Editor: RH Childrens Books
ISBN: 0385373627
FileSize: 822kb
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There's a Wocket in my Pocket by Dr. Seuss Summary

In this silly Bright and Early Book classic by Dr. Seuss, a young boy goes exploring in his house and finds an array of fun characters! Are you certain there’s a Jertain in the curtain? Or have you ever had a feeling there’s a Geeling on the ceiling? From the pesky Nooth Grush on a tooth brush to a sleepy Zelf up on the shelf, There’s a Wocket in My Pocket will have young readers eager to explore their homes and the wonders of rhyming and wordplay. Combining brief and funny stories, easy words, catchy rhythm, and lively illustrations, Bright and Early Books are an ideal way to introduce the joys of reading to children.

Dirty Sanchez's Guide to Buck Nasty Sex

Dirty Sanchez's Guide to Buck Nasty Sex Pdf/ePub eBook Author: Dirty Sanchez
Editor: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1569757941
FileSize: 1465kb
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Dirty Sanchez's Guide to Buck Nasty Sex by Dirty Sanchez Summary

From the Tea Bag and Donkey Punch to the Rusty Trombone and Cleveland Steamer, Dirty Sanchez’s Guide to Buck Nasty Sex shows how to pull off the most intimate sex moves like a pro. Plus, Dirty Sanchez himself provides expert advice on over-the-top positions like the Angry Dragon, Alabama Hot Pocket and Space Docking, as well as his personal collection of never-before-published sex acts, including: •The Last Unicorn •The Exorcist •Vampire Tea Bag •Pterodactyl •Kamikaze

Top 101 Adult Jokes

Top 101 Adult Jokes Pdf/ePub eBook Author: Junior Cassanova
Editor: Booksmango
ISBN: 6162450627
FileSize: 1874kb
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Top 101 Adult Jokes by Junior Cassanova Summary

We all know that adult jokes are disgusting but then again it depends on the way you read it. My name is Junior Cassanova. Chances are you haven't heard of me before. I hope that you enjoy reading this book that I have compiled and hope that you will remember my name for it. Thank you for your interest in choosing 'Top 101 Adult Jokes'. This is Volume 1 of my finest adult jokes compilation, I hope this book gives lots of laughter towards your everyday boring life.

The House at the Edge of Night

The House at the Edge of Night Pdf/ePub eBook Author: Catherine Banner
Editor: Doubleday Canada
ISBN: 0385686293
FileSize: 1897kb
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The House at the Edge of Night by Catherine Banner Summary

A sweeping, propulsive family saga set on a romantic and beautiful Italian island, for fans of Captain Corelli's Mandolin and Beautiful Ruins. On the tiny, idyllic island of Castellamare, off the coast of Sicily, lies The House at the Edge of Night, an ancient bar run by the Esposito family. There, over the course of three generations--from the eve of World War One to the aftershocks of the 2008 financial crisis--the Esposito women will fight to hold their family together against the threats that break across their shores. As lush and magical as the island at its centre, The House at the Edge of Night is a story of love and secrets, endurance, loss and, ultimately, triumph.

Where Heroes Hide

Where Heroes Hide Pdf/ePub eBook Author: Helen Recorvits
Editor: Farrar, Straus and Giroux (BYR)
ISBN: 146681912X
FileSize: 1669kb
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Where Heroes Hide by Helen Recorvits Summary

A touching story about heroism Ten-year-old Junior wasn't even born when his father came home from World War II, but he knows his dad was a war hero. He'd been a pilot, and Junior would like to know more about his wartime experiences, but his dad doesn't want to talk about the war and gets mad whenever the subject comes up. Plenty of other things make him angry, too, especially Junior's best friend, Lenny, a polio survivor. Even though Lenny is no longer contagious, Junior's father doesn't want his son taking any chances. Junior knows better and he's not going to let his father ruin his summer or his friendship. His dad comes close to doing both until something happens that shows everyone where heroes hide.

The Cheat

The Cheat Pdf/ePub eBook Author: Amy Goldman Koss
Editor: Penguin
ISBN: 1101658061
FileSize: 1803kb
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The Cheat by Amy Goldman Koss Summary

Award-winning author Amy Goldman Koss explores what happens when one bad decision threatens to destroy everything. Cheating on a geography midterm is only the beginning. It seemed simple enough—they were given the answers from last year's test and they used them. But Sarah and her friends got caught, and what was done without much thought leads to greater and greater consequences. Now they are facing punishment at school, tension at home, and no one is sure how or when it will end. "An excellent springboard to provocative discussion or debate about the moral and ethical questions that this issue raises."—School Library Journal

Axioms

Axioms Pdf/ePub eBook Author: Sommer Nectarhoff
Editor: Sommer Nectarhoff
ISBN: 1499697252
FileSize: 1313kb
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Axioms by Sommer Nectarhoff Summary

Axioms is a collection of poetry written without bounds in subject, but with rigidly defined structure, something that is not often associated with prose poetry. The work has been described as reading almost akin to scripture at times, being humorous at others, and helplessly tragic--and all on the same page. Nectarhoff displays a wide, almost limitless range of styles in Axioms, and this book will inspire, enthrall, and even haunt the reader for years to come. --Axioms Ai-Aii-- Do not weep above the pyramids, for pain is in the mind, and it rests beneath the crypt. Your conjecture has been deduced to dust, and it does not sound. We understand; we simply do not care. Each of the relevant aspects has been assumed and appropriated, yet all the books in the world would be insufficient to right these wrongs, regardless of their relative merit. Even the sharpest whip is nothing unless it has been wrapped round the proper wrist. We feel no sorrow for you here, and there is no longer any hope. You may leave us now. The shape of the grain was decided long before the earth was born. Wheat and barley and rye; they’re all the same. For it is not the bread that matters, but the seed. And this seed was spilled down from the stars early in the dawn, when the sky was red and the sea was, too. The farmer does not sow the seed, although he is the reaper, for he wields the scythe that cuts the stalk. It was written long ago that he would reap what was sown, and it is by the book that the field was tilled.

Kids' Birthday Cakes

Kids' Birthday Cakes Pdf/ePub eBook Author: Octopus
Editor: Australian Woman\'s Weekly
ISBN: 1907428569
FileSize: 1791kb
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Kids' Birthday Cakes by Octopus Summary

Remember the excitement of choosing your birthday cake as a child? Weeks of anxiously poring over The Australian Women's Weekly Children's Birthday Cake Book... Would it be the train? The butterfly? The pirate? Kids' Birthday Cakes is a new birthday cake book for the generation that grew up with that first classic book. It features spectacular new designs and, as always, each recipe is simple and easy to follow.

Boris and Wabbit

Boris and Wabbit Pdf/ePub eBook Author: Susan Tan
Editor: Pelangi ePublishing Sdn Bhd
ISBN: 9670351162
FileSize: 1519kb
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Boris and Wabbit by Susan Tan Summary

The rainy season hits the jungle — and there will be a flood! King Lionel sends Boris and Wabbit to check the other side of the hill, where all the animals will be moved to safely. Wabbit the hare seems to know it all—while Boris the tortoise doesn’t seem to have the savvy that Wabbit has. But is being smart enough to help save Wabbit from the unexpected fate that will befall him?